Did you know you can insert pics in a gallery format??
You know that quote “In Summer I just wait for me to be myself again"? Well, that's exactly what I did, I waited to be human again. The Summer Heat is unbearable and I'm always dancing with poverty around that time of the year. I couldn't bring myself to write, I couldn't really bring myself physically anywhere either. It felt like hibernation.
My theory is that good weather to us Filipinos is when it's cold, when it's rainy, and our National Experience of waiting in the morning for classes to be suspended. I never understood Spanish people when they say “You must have good weather, summer all year round!” is getting tan and going to the beach all they care about (yes). I love their crisp autumn air (you'll know it when you smell it), blankets and blankets and blankets, and yes, I guess it fucking helps that it's Autumn in SPAIN (read: its sunny and not depressingly cloudy).
I didn't mean for this to be a rant about the weather and the seasons, I actually didn't mean to write at all. I've been censoring myself for the last three months because of The Job Hunt. I really didn't want anyone looking into to my profile to think “Oh, she's depressed and writing about us and the things she's experiencing!”. But fuck it we ball.
On Writing
I submitted to a magazine that Clark's partner works in. Obviously the enchufe culture doesn't exist at Dawn because the random mix of Substack posts I sent them didn't make the cut. But I really enjoyed receiving feedback. I've been going about this blindly for some time now and don't really know how to ask for feedback (every time I do people just compliment me). They affirmed me of stuff I didn't like and praised the things that I did like. So I guess I'm in some kind of good direction (the good direction is to always write). Overall a 10/10 experience and the thought of editing any of the posts I've already published here didn't cross my mind until June. That's a fun little project now, yay something to do!
I am also on Week Seven of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. It's a twelve-week course to unblock yourself, creatively. At some point in between these weeks I realized that it mean pursing art even as your source of income, of life. It's not about unblocking yourself to create a hobby on the side but to encourage you on the creative path.
I admit that I didn't start this book with that intention. I just wanted to write off my Artist's block. And I did just want to continue a “hobby”. But Julia has magic sprinkled in between the pages and lets you meditate on the Artist's Way. Money is always a source of stress and often times pursuing arts is viewed to be non-practical. Modern life has convinced us that this is the way to go. I'm not Julia Cameron and I can't convince you to drop everything and do what you've always wanted to do (paint, act, draw, play music in a band, write) but just know that its a door, an opportunity that is very much open to anyone. It's also very much a spiritual book, where you are faced with essays and exercises on perfectionism, narcissism, and other limiting beliefs and encourages you to lean into The Abundance of The Universe. Sounds very voodoo and honestly every single thing I've heard about this book on the internet had been very disjointed.
Maybe this can be your first exercise: buy the book, try the tasks, the morning pages, and the artist's dates and ignore the things I've said. Don't research reviews or success stories either.
I didn't expect to come to the conclusion that I should write but what can I do? I wanted to do a Masters so I could write research papers. If that wasn't a clear indication that I wanted to write I don't know what evidence to show.
And I do feel my life changing. I allow myself brief trips to the vintage stores, I now actually buy physical books, I've baked blueberry muffins, I've painted snoopy, repotted plants and list is just going to keep on growing. Pottery and learning french are very much next. Wanting to write (or create) is really about experiencing life and listening to your intuition.
Moving forward
I really want to write weekly and I don't really know to write about but I notice that the Substacks I am subscribed to basically write about what they come across. That means refraining from hoarding links and dumping them incoherently expecting people to make sense of them the same way I did. So, sorry about the links dump. I don't really know how to set this up because it's just been on my mind and I didn't really want to make a plan for it. Do I post every Sunday? Every Saturday? When would I even write? Who knows, just know that I'll do it.
Architecture and Design links
One of my aunts is an architect and the other an interior designer. I would've followed in the footsteps but I wanted to be *different*. So in another life aka in maybe 10 years I would consider it. But now that we have the flat to ourselves I've been obsessed with finding inspiration to decorate and along the way I just found Dream Houses for future me. Here are some of them:
Damon D's Paris apartment is shefs kiss. I want to thrift and find items that are cool and will last forever. I don't want to make DIY tables made of cardboard and the pool noodle things that everyone makes on TikTok. Also can we just please minimize waste. I want to live until I get a house thanks!
I binge watch The Modern House videos in the morning. I love this designer's home because she really does have unusual objects. And I lowkey want the same things.
More The Modern House videos: This one of an upside down house (want), this makes me want a garden courtyard thingy, she's just cool because she's a textile painter and she lives in her studio.
Also found this website called dezeen, and this just makes me want to be rich, and this Aesop store in Korea is so shefs kiss.
